CRATS-(A hybrid of cats and rats)
I was on the plane from Kodaikanal to Delhi and we were going to land in about half an hour when my ears just closed up and the pain was so bad I actually started crying. To ease my pain my dad told me one of his very funny stories and this is how Crats was created. I’ve decided to record this ‘moment’ as it is a creation of genius.
It had happened once in a century –a rat fell in love with a cat. Don’t stare at these words now. I know it’s hard for you to believe but….yes it did happen. A rat (who din’t even know its real name and therefore was known as king rat because he had whiskers which made him look like a king) was wandering in the forest when he happened to lay eyes on a exquisite cat with deep green eyes and at the same moment she saw him to. ‘Love at first sight’ was perfectly true in their case but as they were far too shy to express their feelings they introduced themselves and king rat asked the cat , whose name was Lucy, out for dinner at the famous restaurant ‘HAVE A MICE DAY’. To king rat’s delight, Lucy accepted with as much grace as she could muster, she was so surprised that a rat had actually asked a cat out and especially someone who had become the object of her affections. At first they went to the movies and had lots of dates. Finally, king rat proposed to Lucy. Lucy was so happy that she said ‘yes’ to king rat who became temporarily speechless. After a lot of embracing king rat told Lucy to come with him to ask his parents for their blessings. King rats parents were flabbergasted and they had every right to be.” A rat marry a cat???? Are you insane??” screeched his father.” You are bringing shame not only to our family but to the whole community” said his mother in a shrill voice.
“Mother, dear, try to understand I am simply marrying Lucy because I LOVE HER not because I want to be on the cover of “MICE INFORMATION!!” pleaded king rat.
Ok, so this was getting worse and all the time poor Lucy was cowering her head in shame. King rat, seeing this, replied-
“So, by all this, you are against me marrying Lucy, is that right?” His parents realizing defeat said: We guess it’s up to you to realize your dreams. But have you asked our daughter in laws parents and have they approved? “No, mother, we are going to do just that. Wish us luck” said king rat.
King rat and Lucy neared Lucy’s house. All the cats were sitting on an old spruce tree. When the cats heard the proposal, they fell off the tree. Father cat picked himself up and, in between dusting himself, asked Lucy- “This is not a good publicity stunt. Lucy, are you aware of the consequences?” Lucy looked staggered and replied: Father, incase you have never heard the word, I’m marrying king rat for LOVE. You were always telling me that I have to be remembered in history for something remarkable and I’m doing exactly that. I will always be remembered in history because I will actually marry the person who I love even if the person is a rat.
And with this enlightening speech Lucy glared at her family who were all looking at her with a new found respect except her brother who screeched: Are you nuts? This is scandalous! S-C-A-N-D-A-L-O-U-S!!!!
Lucy was however clear in her views and asked the family if they still wanted to go with the wedding or not. The glowering cats agreed reluctantly though the brother cat was heard to say: I am betting you this will not go as planned AND if sis messes up don’t moan about anything to me.
Lucy and king rat wanted their wedding to be a big affair. Thousands of invitations were sent to rats and cats alike and the animals that trooped towards Lucy’s house were glowing like the setting sun. The cats had hosted a big banquet with everything from cheese burgers to chocolate covered waffle cones. The wedding was a huge success and Lucy and king rat were given a house in Delhi by king rats family. King rat was planning to go to Kodaikanal for their honeymoon. His best friend, Tyrone whiskers, owned the best hotel there called ‘THE CARLTON’. Lucy and king rat smuggled themselves on an aero plane called Indian airlines and when they reached their destination they were embraced by Tyrone whiskers who was covered with sloppy kisses by king rat. They had a lovely time there and king rat said this was an ideal spot for vacation.
Time flies- Lucy was pregnant. After four months sprouted new borns. And this is how the species began. Sad that now cats eat rats, but we should get into the spirit of things. So, if you ever see half cats and half rats don’t be surprised because CAT+ RAT=CRATS.
This is Hindustan Times home correspondent, Soven Trehan, here at lakeside talking with the rat who started it all. It is indeed a miracle that he is still living. I, Soven Trehan, bring you all the news on king rats views about how the young generation of rats and cats are behaving and also a little about himself.
SOVEN TREHAN: King rat, May I call you king rat? Or you might prefer to be called something else?
KING RAT: You can call me anything you want.
ST: So, king rat, do you think the new generation is helping civilization to grow?
KR: No, not at all. In fact it is all but demeaning it. Rats don’t share any rapport with cats and vice-versa. Lucy and I married for love but now even liking between rats and cats has become next to impossible.
ST: Ah! Lucy and you were a topic discussed by millions of people. You are married for, precisely, how many years now?
KR: ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY EIGHT YEARS.
ST: Gee, that is a lot! Did your family ever support you in your decision for marrying Lucy? Was there a black sheep in your family?
KR: After the wedding my family suddenly realized that Lucy was the best life partner I could ever have chosen. They always treated Lucy like their daughter.
ST: That is so touching! And what about Lucy’s family? Were they against her?
KR: Lucy and I were, perhaps, the luckiest couple ever. Our families were always there for us. They were our biggest strength. I was almost surprised that Lucy’s parents were there whenever we needed them but, I guess, I shouldn’t have been. After all, look at the girl I was marrying. She was perfect and, in due time, so was her family.
ST: I’m sure. Lucy is everything you wanted and by her mesmerizing personality she won the hearts of everyone. Oh... by the way, do you think that there is anything that will cause the new generation to change their ways?
KR: All the good few thousands in the world can help the millions to change. But then again those few good people can be influenced by the millions. My point is that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
ST: I agree with you. So, that concludes our interview with king rat. Thank you, sir, for taking time out to meet us.